heart

i got on a plane yesterday just to look out the windows. my forehead froze to the glass but my eyes froze to her. it’s funny how i didn’t realize how beautiful the moon was until i was 30,000 feet in the air. but she always has been. i grabbed my arms and legs at

hay bales

i used to wander a field with my friends, looking for animals and outlaws. but all we ever really found were hay bales  and the mice that lived in them.  the field looked as boring as the bible but to our eyes it was a sea of hay that we had to sail. i wish

reveal

i have enjoyed writing this year more than ever. initially, the anonymity of the blog helped me to write with intent and from the heart without worrying about what my friends or peers thought. but i eventually reached the point where i was comfortable with my writing and comfortable claiming it. so now i am

cat

bourdain

i’m a starving chef that spends his time making others orders, forgetting to leave any time for my meal. and i feel like i am starting to eat myself. the hours are constantly ending, so im winding my clocks to save some daylight for myself.  and some time to eat.

learning to love the inevitable.

when i was younger i had a serious issue with time. this issue arose from the fact that i never wanted it to end. i hated the inevitability of time. i wanted to rip the batteries out of every clock and scribble out the numbers.  it hurt me deeply that the clock’s hands never stopped

this is lit. thank you dj harold miner.

my favorite hat was light blue and my mom said it looked like my eyes

now it’s covered in mud and sits in my closet. i sat in the swing wearing my hat and a smile that stretched almost painfully across my face as i swung over the rice paddies beneath my feet. my mom shouted out telling me to lean my head back so i could feel the wind

some movies i would like to watch

the grand budapest hotel, no country for old men, fight club, lost in translation, the departed (again), reservoir dogs, parasite, place beyond the pines, manchester by the sea, whiplash, dead poets society, the pianist, the nice guys, the godfather, 2001: a space odyssey, silver linings playbook, her (again), o brother where art thou, the big

where is the blueprint

i used to think that life had a perfect blueprint. place one brick here, one brick there, and eventually it would all come together in the way that it was supposed to. it never crossed my mind that sometimes the blueprint gets lost or wet and sometimes you run out of bricks. somedays it rains